Stay
by SunInside
Summary: Near is in love with Mello, that much is certain to him. But when he announces that he's leaving the orphanage, Near can't stop him. Will their paths ever cross again? Mello x Near yaoi. Rated M for swears


Near sat patiently on the floor, putting together his blank puzzle.

Silence resonated through the room, as he and Mello awaited the news from roger.

Finally, he spoke.

"L is dead."

While Near sat on the ground concealing his shock, Mello lost it. He slammed his hands down on the table and shouted.

Near wished he would calm down, but at the same time, worried about him.

He was in love with Mello after all. Of course he was worried.

Roger suggested that he and Mello work together in L's stead. Near concealed his excitement; the thought of working with Mello made him happy. Although Mello obviously hated him, all he wanted was to be close to the blonde boy.

"There's no way I'd ever do that! I can't get along with Near! That's how it's always been."

Near has never felt more disappointed, hurt. Was that really how Mello felt? Sure, they had their disagreements. But why couldn't Mello at least try to work with him? Why?

And if it hadn't been broken already, Mello broke Near's heart even further. In fact, he completely shattered it.

"I'm leaving this institution."

Near almost couldn't hide his despair. Almost.

Later that evening, Mello was packing his bags, preparing to leave.

Near gathered his courage, and knocked on his bedroom door.

"It's open," Mello said through the door. Near turned the doorknob and entered the room.

Mello looked up in surprise and revulsion.

"What do you want, Near?"

Near sat at the foot of Mello's bed, and twirled his white hair around his finger.

He hid inside of him his growing panic. He couldn't let Mello leave. He couldn't let go of the one he loved the most in this world.

Someone had once told Near that some people resemble the beauty found in flowers. We don't have the ability nor the right to resist the wonder of these people, for their beauty is rare and should be treasured. Mello was a tiger lily, blazing with ambition that Near envied, omitting on gorgeous emotion after the next. Mello's ability to speak however he wanted and his spiritual freedom had melted Near's heart long ago.

That was why Near could never let Mello leave his side. He could never lose sight of his tiger lily. Mello was the link between Near and his sanity, his ability to stay calm and to function properly. Without the inspiration and drive that Mello offered to Near, the white-haired albino would never have amounted to anything in the orphanage. Mello was his foundation, his unknowing support in everything he did. Near would never surpass L without Mello.

So sitting in his room, Near knew that he had to convince his true love to stay with him.

But even so, Near just could not admit his love for Mello. That would go against every single one of Near's principles.

"Leaving the orphanage will not achieve anything," Near started, continuing to twirl his hair around.

Mello didn't meet Near's eyes.

"It's not your decision, Near," Mello spat. "If you came here to make me stay, don't waste your time. I don't want to spend another moment here. I don't want to waste another second being second best to _you_!"

Near showed no emotion when Mello looked at him with fiery eyes. Mello radiated his hatred towards Near, surrounding him with his uncontrollable loathing.

Near wanted to cry. How could he make Mello stay? The thought seemed more and more impossible, and Near couldn't control his panic anymore.

"Mello, where did your sense of reason go? Don't let your hatred blind you. Leaving is the worst thing you could do."

To Near's utter shock, Mello whipped around, grabbed him by his white shirt, and slammed him against the wall, taking his breath away.

"You know what? Fuck you, Near! FUCK YOU! You don't know anything! While you just sit around playing with your toys, I work my _ass_ off to try to be number one, yet you ALWAYS beat me! Staying here wouldn't accomplish shit! If I want to beat you, here is not the place to do it. It's like this place is fucking rigged to make sure that you'll always score higher than me, in _everything_! I just can't beat you here! You fucking brat, FUCK YOU!"

Their faces were inches apart.

Sure, Mello's words hurt. They hurt Near a lot. In fact, each insult pierced his heart like a knife. But their close proximity was the only thing in Near's mind. The scent of chocolate invading his nostrils, the searing blue eyes parallel to his. Near could only just resist grabbing Mello's beautiful face and kissing it again and again, whispering in his ear how much he loved him, running his hands all over his body.

Near's eyes were on the ground. He pulled one of his fingers up, and twirled his hair again.

"There's so much you don't understand," Near murmured.

Mello shoved him harder into the wall.

"Like what, you little brat?" Mello scoffed. His voice smelled of chocolate, and sounded like mousse.

"What could I possibly not understand?"

And in that moment, something in Near snapped. Perhaps it was Mello's anger rubbing off on him, or his sheer panic getting the best of him. But for the first time in his life, Near could no longer suppress his emotions. He lost control _completely_.

Near looked Mello right in the eyes. All of the anger in Mello's face disappeared, revealing only shock. He was completely shocked to see the emotions that were storming in Nears eyes.

Near threw his arms around Mello's neck and kissed him hard on the lips. He reveled in the feeling of Mello's lips, the chocolate taste, shedding a tear as he concluded that this would be their first and last kiss. However, at least Near would have _something_. He would know that he had worked up the courage to finally show Mello how he felt. That thought pleased him.

When the kiss was done, Mello quickly disposed of his shock, and backed away from Near quickly. He wiped his lips and picked up his duffel bag.

He continued packing.

"I'm not going to pretend I know what the fuck that was," Mello spat, "But don't think that it changes anything between us."

He tucked his blonde hair behind his ear.

"No wonder you were so persistent," He muttered under his breath, glaring at his bag.

Mello finished packing, and approached the door. Without turning his head, he gave Near one last string of words.

"Our paths will cross again, Near. I'll be waiting for you when I beat you to the top."

With that, Mello left the room, his determined footsteps echoing behind him. Near slid down the wall and curled into a ball.

He was gone. Near was unable to stop him. He'd failed.

A single, defiant tear rolled down Near's face. He let it roll onto his finger, and examined It with wide eyes.

So this is what a tear looks like. This is what pain feels like.

Near approached the window, and watched as Mello strode towards the front gate.

Mello stopped.

Near's heart raced.

_Turn around_, Near thought. _Give me one last look. Please._

Mello did not turn. He continued out of the gate, and into the night.

Near slowly approached Mello's bed. He lay down in it, letting the scent of Mello envelope him.

He wrapped his small body in the covers, and fell asleep to the sound of his misery.

One last thought echoed around his mind before he lost consciousness.

_I will never experience such loss as this again_.

Five years passed, and Near didn't hear a word. He heard nothing of Mello. Night after night, he lie awake, fawning over Mello, wishing that things had ended differently between them. He worried for Mello, hoping with all of his heart that he was doing alright, that he was healthy, or even alive.

And when Mello came back into Nears life, a spark of hope burst forth inside of Near. A chance to see the one he loved again. A chance to hold him close and to tell him everything that he had never had the courage to before.

Mello would be coming for him. Near expected this.

And when he did, Near was more than ready.

Near sat in the middle of the SPK headquarters, playing with his toy robot. Gevanni patted him on the shoulder.

"Near, Mello's here. He's holding Lidner at gunpoint. What should we do?"

"Let him in," Near said. He could barely suppress his excitement.

Mello entered, followed by Lidner.

Near didn't turn to look at Mello. He was afraid of what he would see. Would Mello be emaciated, neglected? Would the fire and ambition be gone from his once deep blue eyes?

"Near."

His voice was deeper, more husky than it had been five years ago.

"Mello."

Near wondered if his voice sounded different.

He heard the click of a gun pointed at him.

"Im here for the picture you have of me. I know you have one."

Near smirked.

He pulled out the picture he had of Mello, the one he had carried with him at all times, and threw it behind him. Mello caught it.

As Mello began to leave, Near spoke up.

"Leave us, everyone. I wish to speak with Mello alone."

Everyone obeyed, leaving the control room cautiously. Mello stood behind Near, and the albino felt the heat of his presence like a tidal wave.

"What have these years done to you, Mello?" Near asked.

Mello scoffed. "Why don't you see for yourself?"

Near reluctantly turned, and gasped.

Mello was much taller. His soft features had grown sharp and jagged. His clothes were a mess, as was his untamed hair. What struck Near the most was his huge scar. Near wondered painfully how Mello had gotten through that wound all alone.

Near stood up and approached Mello. He saw the malice in his eyes, but they held the same ambition.

"Does it hurt you?" Near asked, addressing the wound.

Mello sighed, exasperated. "Not anymore. But what did you want to talk to me about? I don't have all day to stand around here."

Near approached Mello, unable to suppress himself. He put his hands on Mello's face.

"Why don't you stay here with me for a while?" Near asked gently. "You look so tired, Mello. Let me heal you. You can clean yourself, rest in a bed. I'll let you forget whatever has happened to you here. I'll take care of you."

Mello looked repulsed by the idea. But something else appeared in his eyes. It wasn't hateful at all. What was it?

"I'd _never_ stay here with you, Near," Mello said, trying to be cold. "I don't need your help."

Mello's eyes were cast down to the ground. Near lost control, again.

He leapt foreword and pulled Mello into his embrace.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you," Near whispered into Mello's ear as soothingly as he could.

Mello didn't respond. He made no move to push Near away.

"If you change your mind," Near whispered, "Come back straight away. Even if it's at 3 A.M, ten years from now. I'll wait for you. No matter how far away you get, and even if you truly do hate me. You will always be welcome here. Don't forget it."

After holding him as long as he needed to, Near let go of Mello. And for the first time, as Mello stared at him blankly, Near had no idea what he was thinking.

Slowly, Mello turned, and approached the exit.

He stopped, and turned his head, as if he wanted to say something.

At the last moment, he changed his mind, and left. Again.

A week passed.

During one of the worst rainstorms in the past decade, Near worried for Mello the most.

Was he out in that deluge, alone?

Near tried to concentrate on his house of cards.

Was he alright?

He placed a card on top of the house.

Should he search for him?

Another card.

No, Mello would hate that.

Suddenly, Lidners voice sounded in Near's walkie talkie, causing him to knock over the card house.

"Near, someone's outside, approaching the front door. It looks like…"

Near jumped up and sprang towards his computer moniters. He desperately pulled the frame up that showed the front door.

About 100 yards away from the entrance, a figure approached slowly.

The leather clothes, the fur coat, the blonde, long hair.

It was Mello.

Nears heart leapt, as tears welled in his eyes.

Mello made his way to the entrance.

"let him in!" Mello yelled at Lidner.

The door opened, and Near watched Mello enter. He made his way to the door of the control room, and Lidner let him in to that one too.

Near jumped up and ran towards Mello until they were face to face.

Mello was sopping wet. His knees buckled, and he collapsed onto Near. Mello lay down, resting his head in Nears lap as the younger boy stroked his soaking wet hair with his warm, dry hands.

"It's okay now, Mello," Near murmured to Mello, who grasped to his waste firmly. "Everything is going to be okay. You're safe here with me."

Mello struggled to raise his head to look at Near.

"Near, I…"

Mello struggled to speak.

"Don't talk," Near soothed, holding his head up with his hands.

Mello weakly reached out with his hand and ran it though Near's white hair.

"Near," Mello whispered. His head fell back down to Near's lap.

"Near."

Near smiled, continuing to drag his hands through Mello's hair.

"Rest now, Mello," Near soothed. "Rest long, rest well. Let dreams heal you. I'll keep you close. I'll protect you."

Mello closed his eyes, and his grip on Near's waste loosened as he fell slowly into slumber.

Commander Rester entered shortly after and easily picked up Mello's frail body, carrying him to one of the guest bedrooms.

Near dried his hair and lay next to him, watching his peaceful face as he slept in the bathing of moonlight.

Five years had really taken their toll on Mello. Stress lines were outlined on his forehead, and he had lost too much weight. The scar on his face looked awful.

But he was still the Mello that Near had fallen in love with. The Mello that Near still loved.

Therefore, he had only grown more beautiful.

At around 5 A.M, the sun had not yet come up, and Near continued to lay facing Mello.

To Near's surprise, Mello's eyes slowly fluttered open, to meet Near's.

They stared at each other for a while. Then, Mello slowly moved towards Near until his body was hovering over the other's.

Mello stroked Nears face, regarding him with droopy, blue eyes.

There was no possible way that Near's affection was not written all over his face.

Mello leaned down, and spoke right against Near's lips.

"I love you," He whispered. He then kissed Near softly, his beautiful lips tasting of chocolaty rain.

Near had waited for that kiss for five years, and it was better than he'd ever expected. Near opened up for Mello beautifully, wrapping his arms around him.

"Stay here with me," Near whispered into the kiss. He couldn't bear the thought of watching Mello walk away again.

Mello cupped Near's face.

"I love you, Mello. Stay."

He laced his fingers into his white hair.

"Stay."

Mello broke the kiss and looked into Near's eyes.

For the first time, Near could see loving affection brimming in Mello's gaze.

"I will… forever. I promise."


End file.
